Tag Archives: Professional Certification

Not Your Father’s Society

[Virtual interview June 6, 2037 between Steve Smith, executive editor of ‘Quantum Systems Review’, and Jack Roberts president of the ‘American Association of Certified Analytics Professionals’ (AACAP).]

“Jack, I understand that you have an announcement.”

“That’s right Steve; we are announcing a name expansion.”

“Name expansion?”

“Yes, we are simply adding the word accounting between analytics and professionals. Our new acronym will be AACAAP; so you just have to stretch-out the last ‘a’ sound.”


“You know: AAC-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-P.”

“Why the change?”

“Well, with the introduction of stat-chips, and the collapse of big-data, the market for analytics professionals dried-up, so we decided to pivot.”


“Ever since the financial crisis of 2031 was caused by sixth generation derivatives, the large banks have been desperate to find people who could understand them, and as a result, the analytics accounting market has become red-hot. Since we weren’t getting the growth we were looking for with analytics, we decided to jump on the analytics accounting band-wagon.”

“But, what about your members?”

“What about them? We have moved on; they should too. Listen Steve, we’re taking a leadership position in the non-profit space: we believe lifetime membership in a professional society, like lifetime employment, is passe′.”

“I’m not sure I…”

“It’s been great chatting with you Steve, but I have to run. I have a meeting with Professor Teresa Laporte, the well known author of ‘Winning With Analytics Accounting’; She has agreed to serve on our certification board, and I can’t be late.”

“And remember, the acronym is AAC-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-P.”

Apache Helicopter

Certification Wars

“Jim, you look beat.”

“Oh, hi Mary, I was up late crunching the numbers.”


“You know, since The Alliance entered the analytics certification market, we’ve been losing market share.”

“I know. It’s not fair — our test is much better than their test.”

“It’s true, but unfortunately, no one can tell the difference.”

“Well, the board has just approved MAP 2 — we’ll meet the $99 price point and cut our test to 49 questions.”

“Yes, but have you heard the latest?”

“No, what?”

“Now, when you get certified by The Alliance, they send you a beautifully engraved brass plaque. Actually, I wouldn’t mind hav”


“Sorry. Listen Mary. I’ll tell you what’s keeping me up at night.”

“What’s that?”

“Well, it’s only a rumor, but, the way the story goes, The Alliance has gotten to some key California legislators, and they’re getting ready to push through an Alliance based licensing program for all analytics professionals in California.”

Licensing! But…but…but then, we’ll all be screened out!”